Tigers Manager Brad Ausmus Handles Losing Well, JK He Beats His Wife

Look, we have all had our poor days at the office. And when we do all we wanna do is go home, get drunk, then kick the dog and beat the wife/imaginary girlfriend.  Plus the Tigers have fucking sucked lately. After being up 10 games last month, and numerous bullpen meltdowns, this team has just mailed it in and are now looking up at the Royals. The goddamn Royals. So of course Aumus is gonna try to clear the air and make a joke. Was his  joke in poor taste? Sure if you’re a PC liberal. This joke has been made repeatedly and is probably the oldest joke in the book, but with the pussification of society of course its gonna be a huge deal. He even apologized right away so its not like hes a misogynist male promoting the rape culture patriarchy while objectifying minorities like the feminists will say he is come next week. And trust me, once this losing funk or season is over (whichever comes first) people will look back and be like “LOL remember the time Ausmus said he beats his wife? I better tweet about it after a really bad loss”.

P.S.

Getting beat by your husband might not be so bad when he looks like this:

 

There’s gonna be a shortage of dildos after Jezebel blogs him a new asshole.

 

Double P.S

Could you imagine the shitstorm if Cabrera said this? Fuck why can’t we interview him after losses.

Torii Hunter Has Some Advice For LeBron on Cramps

 

You know that Vince Lomabardi quote, “Winning isn’t everything, the will to win is the only thing.” Well this is exactly what Vince was talking about. You’re either a guy who gets cramps and has to be carried off the court on the biggest stage in the sport like Bron Bron, or you’re a guy who gets cramps fucking his wife but keeps grinding because he’s about to bust nut like Torii.

 

P.S.

 

Only thing that would have made it better would be he fell over his bed a la Game 2 ALCS last year.